Shine! or Thomas Jefferson, Mercedes, and Gifts Given

Thomas Jefferson said, “He who lights his [candle] at mine, receives light without darkening me.”[i]  Put another way, if you have ideas, share them; there are more where those came from!  If you have money, give some away; there’s more where that came from!  If you have only one piece of bread, give it to someone who is hungry; you can bake more bread!  Abundance thinkers believe, know, and live like there’s always plenty to go around.

Some say that the getting is in the giving, but, truth be told, give and it will be given to you.[ii]  The difference between these two statements matters, so understand:  whatever you give, will be given to you.  I am not talking about karma.  No, this principle, this truth, is different.  In karma you get what you deserve.  That is not the same as give and it will be given to you.  This subtle difference between “the getting is in the giving” and “give and it will be given to you” lies in intention.  What do I mean?

Well, it’s like the mother who took her daughter shopping at the mall.  The mother was frustrated with the parking lot being too full, the man who cut her off to steal the parking place she wanted, and the crowded corridors between stores, filled with obnoxious, thoughtless people.  By the time they got to the department store it was evident by the mother’s expression that she was quite resentful of the whole situation.  After purchasing their clothing, the mother and daughter began to walk out of the store.  The mother leaned over to her daughter and said, “Did you see the look that clerk behind the counter gave me?”  The daughter turned to her mom and said, “Oh no Mom, you already had that look on your face when you came into the store.”

Ouch!  Give and it will be given to you.

If you approach your life with the principle that the getting is in the giving, then you will be giving so that you can get.  Your intention is self-seeking, often based on punishment or reward.  And this makes it really difficult to live your calling and your Dream, because your Dream is not just about your fulfillment but fulfilling a service to others by using your passions and gifts.  In fact, giving freely from your heart of abundance your gifts, talents, possessions, money, or food with no expectation but to love, bless, and serve the receiver always moves you toward living your calling and Dream.

If you simply give of yourself to others, others will see your generosity, genuine heart, and transparency in your life.  They will be more likely to reciprocate that same kind of genuine and transparent giving.  But even if they do not reciprocate, that is ok because your intention was in the giving, not the getting, and it is the giving that brings joy and fulfillment.

If you have a hard time believing this, try this simple experiment.  During your day, deliberately wear a smile on your face as you walk by people and greet them or simply make eye contact with them.  Then keep track of how many people smile back at you and how many people do not change expression or pretend to ignore you, etc.  In my experience most people reciprocate my smiling expression.  But don’t take my word for it.  Try it.  I think you’ll be amazed at the number of smiles you receive.  And even if someone doesn’t smile at you, you’ll still be smiling, and that’s a good thing.

You see, when the getting is in the giving, people owe you.  And when people owe you, they are not responding to you freely.  That’s called manipulation.  But when someone gives to you, it is a gift of his or her own free will, no strings attached, no expectations involved.  The gift flows from the heart and is given freely with love, good will, and as an expression of gratitude and kindness.

When we love others to get love, often we are disappointed.  When we are kind so that others will be kind to us, many times we’re let down.  When we feign compassion and empathy out of obligation or just because it’s the right thing to do, or so that others will like us and hopefully act the same way toward us, we often find ourselves on the short end of receiving, and we are unhappy.

But, when we genuinely love others, using our gifts or strengths, it is far more likely that love will be given freely to us. When we wholeheartedly practice acts of kindness, it is likely kindness will be given to us.  When we fully show compassion and empathy for others, it is likely compassion and empathy will be given to us.  These are all gifts given from intrinsic motivations, not extrinsic obligations.  This is depth of soul.

Those who realize it is better to give than to receive[iii] also understand that if you live in the realm of abundance and give your ideas, your time, your mind, your body, your soul, and your material goods to others, all of it will be given to you ten-fold in some way at some time.  Yes, the gift you receive may be monetary or something material, but the gift you receive could equally be a sense of fulfillment within, a sense of gratitude to be able to give to someone and add value to someone in need.  When you live imaginatively and creatively, expecting new opportunities and new ways to give and grow, you’re free to give what you have because you know you’ll always have more.  This is depth of soul.

But those who believe it is better to receive than give live in the realm of scarcity.  Driven by fear of loss, they often hold on to their ideas, use their time only for themselves, withholding their mind, body, soul, and material goods.  They fear that opportunities are limited and tend to react to what is happening.  Scarcity thinkers keep score of what they give and what they get back for that act of giving.  This is life in the shallows.

The irony of scarcity thinking is that those who do it, don’t realize the scarcity lies within themselves.  It has little to do with the world around them, and everything to do with the world within them.  Emptiness lies within.  Typically, scarcity thinking is driven from the outside in, the exact opposite of abundance thinkers who see the world and all circumstances from the inside out.

Margaret, my wife, is a Regional Vice President in her company.  One of the perks she enjoys is the company car for achieving a certain level of success.  The car is a white Mercedes Benz.  It’s a really nice car.  What it represents is Margaret’s decision to work every day toward adding value to others’ lives.  Because she has built her business and helped many others achieve success and personal growth by introducing them to great products, the company she works for says thank you by giving her a company car.  The car represents Margaret’s hard work and abundance mindset.

But here’s the point:  the car, or the paycheck, or the income that allows us to live well and give more, will never equal Margaret seeing the transformation and change in those she has served by simply introducing them to the products and opportunity her company offers. Margaret’s service, love, and compassion for others far exceeds a piece of metal, even a nice piece of metal like a Mercedes.  The car is a manifestation of the far deeper, richer, and rewarding experience of an abundant heart.  At the end of the day, it’s the relationships and the fulfillment of a heart grateful for the opportunity to give that matter more than things.

Abundance thinkers are candles giving away their light, losing nothing.  On the contrary the light is passed on from candle to candle until the entire world they inhabit dispels the darkness.  If you give light to those around you, you’ll never be in darkness.  Shine and share your light!  In your business, at school, at church, in your family, with your spouse or partner, in every moment shine! 

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[i] Jefferson, Thomas.  Selected Writings.  Vol. 6.  Ed. Harvey C. Mansfield, Jr.  AHM Publishing. 1979. Print.

[ii] Luke 6:38

[iii] Acts 20:35