The 3 R's of Self-Destruction - Part Four: The Third R, Revenge

Revenge

an opportunity to retaliate or gain satisfaction,

especially in a resentful or vindictive spirit

Gandhi’s statement about an eye for an eye leaving the whole world blind shows that revenge is more than an attempt to get even.  

In our world revenge is dolled up as “justice,” but revenge has little to do with justice and much to do with the need to be right.  The need to be right creates lose-lose situations and compromises one’s ability to find peace, happiness, and joy.  Being right and simply being are two very different ways of life.

Gandhi masterfully found and practiced win-win solutions.  Sometimes these solutions caused him great suffering and struggles, but he knew the momentary suffering[i] would eventually bring about win-win solutions for the people of India and the British.  When the British left India, they left as friends because of Gandhi’s desire, discipline, and determination to bless and be blessed.

When we practice the Three R’s of Self Destruction all suffer.

High Beams

I remember driving many times at night down two-lane highways, and meeting drivers who would not dim their lights when I met them.  It was very annoying, and I grew angry.  I fumed inside with resentment, and I wanted to keep my lights on high beam (resistance and revenge).  I will confess that on occasion I left my high beams on, and only looking back on it did I realize I was not only jeopardizing the lives of those in the on-coming car, but I was jeopardizing my own life by deliberately trying to blind someone who was coming straight toward me with only a small yellow line separating us.  I know, crazy!

I couldn’t be bothered by why someone might leave their high-beams on, whether from being discourteous, having poor eyesight, or distracted by children perhaps in the car. How absolutely ridiculous is that!  You’d think I would have the sense to minimize the danger and to do my very best to produce a win-win solution by doing what made sense: dimming my headlights.

How many of the lessons in the spirals of our life have been wasted because we are blinded by high-beams coming at us, driven by resistance, resentment, and revenge? How many opportunities have we squandered to produce win-win solutions because we did not take the time to try to understand others and do what we knew would be best for everyone involved in the moment?  How often have we forgotten our integrity, to treat others the way we want to be treated because of The Three R’s of Self-Destruction? 

Instead, let’s make The Shift and change our stories.  Let’s decide to be our true selves and to walk in our Greatness by renouncing the Three R’s from our lives?  Let’s replace resistance with relationship, resentment with optimism, and revenge with compassion!

Distraction

            Distraction is a form of resentment, resistance, and revenge.  Life, inherently, contains hurdles.  As we run the race of life, we must not get distracted by the critics in the stands.  

To stop and argue with those telling you that you’re running too slowly with the wrong form and the wrong way keeps you from winning the race.  The critics aren’t even running!  When you stop to explain yourself or argue your case, you become one of them, standing on the sideline, letting life pass you by.

As Teddy Roosevelt so aptly stated, getting even with the critics by explaining who you are, all the while taking time away from your Dream and calling, defeats your purpose.  People on the sideline may think they know better than you, but if they aren’t in the race, they don’t.  Be careful about accepting criticism from them.  Run, walk, crawl if you have to, but don’t stop to listen to those who have no idea of and no desire to run the race you are running.  Just be the runner you are, and stay focused on the course before you, not distracted by the voices in the stands.  Listen to fellow runners and those who have run the race before you.

---

[i] 2 Corithians 4:17